The Whole Foods Drinking Spree That Never Was
…Even when you’re the one who walks away, and you’re convinced that moving on is for the best, the loss of a partner leaves a heartache – a beating beast of pain that can’t simply be tranquilized. You rake yourself over the coals, breaking down and analyzing your own behavior at a microscopic level. You weep, you rage, and you blame. You suffer a thousand piercing needles of doubt and misery. You concoct schemes for begging your way back home, wondering how you’ll explain that to your family and friends. You convince yourself, in ways both subtle and silly, that you’ll never find anyone to love you ever again.
To my credit, when my relationship ended, I didn’t go on a drinking spree. What I did do was try and find another relationship, ASAP. It’s a pattern: I deal with love lost by flinging myself into someone else’s lap. Only it wasn’t working. I would meet people, and would either be standoff-ish or too aggressive. I was conscious of what I was doing, and was repulsed by it; I knew I was groping about for ways to numb myself.
How Should You Feel When Some Fucker You Hate Kicks It?
…My feelings are more mixed. I feel sad for his wife and for his kids, who have lost a husband and a father. From the sounds of it, Breitbart’s schedule was insane; indeed, as Andrew Sullivan noted, he may have worked himself to death. Which would make Breitbart a symptom of the sickness of our times in more ways than one.
Am I angry at Breitbart for his role in the farcical pantomime that is modern American politics? Yeah. But I’d wish that something other than an untimely death had stopped him. A personal reckoning, or a spiritual awakening of some kind. Perhaps a massive heart attack that led him to conclude he should spend what little time he might have left on this Earth being a dude and a dad.
The End of Church, or The Beginning of Spirit?
And that, to me, is the true meaning of “religion” – from the Latin religare, “to bind together”. I felt this binding together at Gaia’s Temple. I feel it when I practice zazen with my fellow Buddhists. Rather than being bound by doctrine, we come together around a few principle ideas or practices that are sacred to us. The officiants of such practices are highly esteemed in the community, and may even have special recognitions bestowed upon them. But they’re not there, generally, to chastise us for our sinful ways. They lead practice. They instruct gently. They remind us, over and over again, to come back to who we really are.
(Read the rest on JayAllenWrites.com)